Fear in bad sunglasses

This week I finally bit the bullet and put up some new work for sale. I had been floating this idea around for a while but wanted a new way of reproducing my work that didn't involve me doing the printing. Frankly, the less time I spent on the computer stuck in post-production hell the better off the world was! I was not a nice person after being stuck in a chair for hours at a time, I mean really, who is?! Plus the fact that I was less than disciplined I would linger on non-work related sites instead of focusing on the work I really wanted to do. Then the work woudn't get done and I would have to be sitting there LONGER!!!  It was bad. But not uncommon especially for us creative types. I am a procrastination expert and will justify anything.  I'm finding the habits that block my ability to do real work include television (yes, I know!) my cellphone (again, I know!) and the inadvertant habit I've adopted post-burn out phase of numbing myself to things that feel overwhelming. It's not a unique tactic but admission is the first step to recovery, right?  The reality is my procrastination is really my fear in disguise...and I'm talking trench coat, bad hat and goofy sunglasses-disguised fear! In other words, it's obvious.

Thankfully, the biggest discovery I've made these 25 days has been the beautiful freedom I'm starting to feel in place of that fear. Because this creative practice contains the disclaimer that there are not rules, only that the time is dedicated daily and that I document it, I've discovered what works for me based on my needs for that day. Do I want to do some drawing today? Done. Do I have some new images to upload and edit? Bam! Is today about reading more of that inspiring book that gave me that idea that may lead to a series? Go for it. It's really all up to me which in the past I didn't realize. I was dressed in the fear that external pressure sells. "Brand Expectation" and it wasn't a good fit. That said, gettting on the computer during this daily time has been done with more focus and purpose than I've ever had before. Basically, because of that no rules rule....it's amazing what not giving a shit does for your psyche! I've managed to get my fear in check, or at least in a better outfit! The goal now is to keep this up and figure out a schedule that works to address the various needs of my practice, the creating part, the editing part, the inspiration collection and integration part. They all add up when combined correctly....and the TV isn't on! :)